Surprisingly I’m about to turn 50, and I promise it is a surprise. What the hell happened to my forties? Where did they go? I just realized I haven’t had sex my entire forties. Actually I’ve even had what’s recognized as vulvodynia for a while, or depressed vagina if you like, which was quite annoying since I was unable to please myself and make my pussy happy. It felt like it lasted for a decade, but was probably over a lot sooner. It sounds like a true psychological disaster, but it’s really due to overly tense muscles in the pelvis. This again can of course be caused by some kind of mental issues. For example the fact that some women in the land of happiness, cross country skiing and chezz players with wierd eyebrows; Norway, are denied the right to report rape to the police. That’s right! I’ve spent 5,5 years fighting for the right to be protected by my government from torture-like maltreatment such as rape by other sivilians. That’s what’s called a violation of the UN Convention against Torture, and I’m not the only one.
Rape was not the only felony I was denied to report and to refuse to accept a police report of rape amongst other was not the only police violence I was a victim of. Persecution, wrongfully charged of felonies, psychological and emotional abuse etc. over more than 20 years. I was finally allowed to report the rape I was a victim of in 2001, and that’s just the beginning. I can’t say I know the struggles of black people in America, but I sure can relate to the issues of systematic oppression from the same authority that’s supposed to protect me. I finally got to report the rape in january this year. I’m finally being treated the way I’m supposed to be treated by the police. By anybody! I’m being heard. I’m being seen.
I can relax a little. Let down my shoulders and wiggle my hips. Losen up my pelvis and perhaps have sex if I remember how to have sex. I can’t even remember the last time I fantasized about sex. Do I dare yet again to make believe some hot, steamy sex? Maybe my sexual preferences have changed. Could it be that I’m now into something different than what I used to claim of sexual experience when I was younger? My idea or illusion of romance has definetly changed, that’s for sure and maybe what my sad honey pot needs is someone to suppress. Preferably someone who’s willing to be dominated. I’m not a psychopath after all. So how do I explore my awaken desires for sexual exploration, and my resurrected desirability? Do I have a dominadar? And do I know how to use it?
TIME WILL SHOW❤
365 sober days 