Anger issues · English · In memory of Luca Skywalker · The sexy side of feminism

The awakening of the first born

I feel an unassailable strenght within the depths of my soul, a solidity of spirit that nothing can defeat. Like the walls of an ancient temple, complited in marble, damaged by wars, but rebuilt and sealed with Roman concrete. Indistructable, unbreakable and everlasting. Created to survive the fall of sivilisations and the end of time, and in this state of mind I’m conquering the future, in certainty of a victory that forever will be mine.

In the beginning there were drought and bleak emptiness. A desert; cold, uninhabited, bereft of love and care. I wandered in search of what to me was unknown, turning each and every stone, questioning everything wherever I drifted on my own. But now this garden of Lilith is flourishing accompanied by thousands of birds, crickets, mice, woffs and meows. Endlessly changing from birth to death to be reborn and to fall before rising tall. A broken heart rebuilt piece by piece, to be as immortal as a tempel wall; indistructable, unbreakable and everlasting. Created to withstand the storm whilst fulfilling a heavenly call;


From the dawn of time, before the first seeds of grass were blooming, before Paradise, before the birth of evil, the truth was carved in stone. A self-fulfilling prophecy that was destined to be mine. My blood, my body, my soul, sacrificed unwillingly and painfully to the passion of Gnosis and the mystery of Christ.

I died! I truly did! I died, but from up high in the world unknown to the living, I looked down on my damaged and dead, little body, and I asked:


It wasn’t, and I was returned to life in this world, to suffering, abuse, violence, bullying, rape and injustice. A world where money, power and perverted exploitation of all innocence, are governing the minds of flesh and bones in this world of Homo sapiens.

My fall was asked for, and I asked for more. I was saved, but I didn’t know. I didn’t know what was comming. I didn’t know that a coldhearted evil, so deep and overwhelming, called this place it’s home. I didn’t know I invited myself to be guest in a castle of sadisme, slavery, agony and gore. Breathtakingly pretty on the surface, but rotten, dying and stinking underneath the first layers of allure.

Thousands of years of misery. Birth, punishment, sadness, loss, torture, heartache, sorrow, death and rebirth to adversity with no escape. That’s the true nature of this univers, this diabolical place. There is no god in houses of wood and bricks. Lift a rock, snap a stick, and there’s the creator of this; an immoral, vicious, vengeful little prick. There’s no divinity in it! Only darkness with a hint of salvation hidden in the midst: The consciousness of a white, flaming spirit.


2 thoughts on “The awakening of the first born

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s